I don’t know what to do anymore. My name is Hannah and I’m a 20-year-old student at the University of Ghana. I just turned 20 back in May, but I feel so much older and more worn down than that.
I’m in a relationship with a guy from my school, and I really do love him. His name is Alfred, and he’s so sweet and caring. But I’ve also been seeing this other man I met in Madina on the side. I know it’s wrong, but I felt like I could open up to him after we started texting. I told him about how my parents have passed away and it’s just me and my struggling grandmother trying to get through university. The finances are so tight, it’s crushing me.
Alfred is a student too, and he can’t even afford to support himself, let alone me. He eats the food I buy and borrows money from me all the time. I’m the one providing for our relationship, but he has all these female friends that I’ve complained about and he won’t cut ties with. I feel so disrespected and jealous.
That’s why I started seeing the man from Madina. After our first date, I told him I needed 800 cedis and he gave me 1500. He wanted me to come to his place since I’d already taken his money, and I knew he was wealthy and could help me.
Turns out he’s a chief and he wants to make me his “stool wife”. I said no, but I ended up staying with him because of the money. He hasn’t married me yet, but he does send my grandmother money sometimes. It wasn’t working out and I need money so I started looking for another benefactor.
So, through a friend, I met another man who gave me 5000 cedis after we met up just once. I was so desperate for the money and continued support that I slept with him the same day. I remember crying because I was so sad that I was giving myself away for money. Funny enough, I needed the money to buy my boyfriend a new MacBook because his old one was messing up. I haven’t told Alfred about it, but I know he’ll be upset (even though he’ll take the money).
I’ve also been talking to an ex as an opportunity to make some extra money. We went to the cinema for a date and ending up having sex. I’ve been asking him for favors and our relationship is completely transactional even though I can feel that he still loves me.
The money I’m getting still isn’t enough to take care of my grandmother and pay for my schooling. I don’t know if I’m possessed or what, but I’m in love with Alfred and I won’t leave him. I also love my ex because he gives me money to add up to what I get from elsewhere. And as for those older men, because they keep sending me money – I can’t risk losing that, so I still sleep with them.
I’m so young, but this is what I am doing to survive. It’s all just too much. My body and mind are breaking down. I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up. I’m at the end of my rope and I desperately need help. It’s not easy and I can’t find any means to make the money I need to take care of my grandmother and myself. Please help with any advice you have.
Help me fix my broken pen.
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