Dear MX24,
My name is Catherine, a 27 year old woman, and I honestly don’t know who I am anymore.
I’ve always loved fashion and expressing myself through my appearance. Bright colors, bold lipsticks, stylish dresses, switching up my hairstyles; I lived for it. It wasn’t just about looks; it was how I carried my confidence. People knew me as the vibrant, fearless girl who always lit up a room.
Then I met Kwame, a 32 year old man who swept me off my feet. He was everything I thought I wanted; caring, protective, and affectionate. At least, that’s what I believed in the beginning.
But slowly, things began to change. He started making small comments: “That dress is too short,” or “I don’t like you wearing makeup; it attracts unnecessary attention.” At first, I thought it was just his way of caring. But now, it feels like my choices have turned into his rules. I find myself hiding certain outfits, avoiding makeup, and second-guessing myself every time I stand in front of the mirror.
The sad truth is that I feel like I’m losing myself. My confidence has drained away, and I don’t even recognize the woman staring back at me. Yet, despite everything, I still love him. I tell myself maybe he doesn’t mean to control me, maybe he just wants the best for me. But at the same time, I can’t shake the feeling that the woman he claims to love is slowly disappearing.
Lately, things have escalated. He now has access to my iCloud, reads my messages, and monitors my social media accounts. It’s like he’s watching my every move, and I feel like I have no privacy or personal space left. Honestly, it’s becoming too much. How much more till he says jump and I ask “how high”?
So here I am, torn and confused. Should I stay and try to work things out, or is this a clear sign that I need to leave before I completely lose myself? If I do stay, how do I even approach this conversation without it turning into a fight? What do I say to make him understand that I just want to feel like myself again, that it’s not a sin to still have a sense of individuality even when you’re with someone? And am I wrong for wanting to dress the way I like while being in a relationship? Please help me I’m tired
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