I don’t even know if I’m writing for advice or just to empty my chest.
So, my boyfriend is a cheat, plain and simple. A chronic cheat for that matter. Not once, not twice, not even thrice. It’s like every few months there’s a new girl, a new story, a new apology I’m expected to forgive.
I’ve cried, talked, complained, begged … nothing changes and it’s still the same story. It’s as if the devil has rented a chamber and hall in his heart when it comes to our relationship. So, I decided to explore my options too. I didn’t muster the courage to go sleeping around or anything like that but I tried talking to someone who actually made me feel seen. I won’t lie that a couple of guys have been in my dms looking for the chance to be with me so when this other guy asked how my day was and gave me attention, it reminded me that I’m still a woman worth choosing.
My boyfriend finds out and all hell breaks loose. Suddenly, I’m the cheap one. He began justifying why he cheats claiming that he suspected that I was doing it before him and now he has evidence. He’s told his entire friend circle, who mind you, know about his cheating “illness” and yet these people have turned around to call me disloyal.
Even he, the same person who has humiliated me repeatedly, is acting like I committed a crime. I know I should have ended things probably before entertaining anyone else. I’m not going to pretend I did everything right, but why is it that when a man cheats, people say “boys will be boys” “men cheat”, etc. but when a woman does half of that, she’s dragged like she has no home training?
I’m really fed up of the double standards of Ghanaian society. We women also have feelings. I’m tired of being alone emotionally. Tired of being the “understanding” woman. Tired of forgiving someone who wouldn’t forgive me for the “same mistake”. I didn’t even sleep with this new guy and see the way I’m being tormented.
I can’t keep living like this so broken pen readers, I need your help. Should I end things before it gets messier? Or am I wrong for finally seeking attention, love, and respect outside of what we have? Would you classify what I did as cheating even? What would you do if you were in my shoes? Please, help me fix my broken pen.
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