Dear Mx24, I really need a listening ear, no judgement and maybe a word of advice.
So, we met two years ago, when I had just decided to stop forcing love. I wasn’t lonely at all. I had just decided to enjoy my single life regardless of the fact that I was clocking 32 soon. Then life happened and our paths crossed. He was a 38-year-old businessman heavily built with smiles that could light up any day. He pursued me patiently, for months, until I finally agreed to give him a chance. He said he wanted something serious, that he was tired of games. I believed him because he was consistent……. Well at first.
For the first eleven months, he showed up. Calls every morning. Visits after work. Weekend dates. I felt chosen.
By the twelfth month, things began to shift.
He became unavailable on weekends. Holidays were always “personal or selfcare time.” Conversations about the future were met with silence or jokes. I told myself relationships evolve. I told myself not to rush him.
By our first anniversary, I was already doing most of the waiting and initiating. Always changing my schedule to meet his, planning our time together, etc. This went on for a while and January 30th is or should I say would have been 3 years of us being together.
Two full years of learning how to adjust, how to understand, how to be patient with a man who was slowly withdrawing. I never accused him of anything. I never checked his phone. I simply trusted.
Then last month, clarity found me. In fact, clarity slapped me!
So, I attended a work-related event and as soon as I walked in, I saw him across the room; relaxed, confident, standing beside a woman about my age and the way he held her hand told me she wasn’t a stranger. Then as if on cue, someone asked him for introductions then all he said was “This is Angela, my wife.” In that moment, time stopped moving and realization dawned on me….
The weekends.
The holidays.
The emotional distance.
I didn’t confront him. I didn’t cry there. I left quietly, carrying two years plus of misplaced love and unasked questions. Later, he said he never planned for things to go that far with me. He said he didn’t want to hurt anyone. But I wonder who protects the person who trusted? Why does this always happen? I’m 35 now. Starting over again. Wiser, but tired. Do you have any advice?
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