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Essential Tips for Choosing the Right Partner

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What do you look for in choosing a partner? Is it the looks, emotional spark, or shared chemistry? While these may be great, there’s more to consider when choosing an ideal partner to build a relationship worth keeping.

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On The AM Club, Frank Edem Adofoli, a counselor and dispute resolution practitioner, highlighted the essential qualities to look out for when choosing a partner.

Essential Qualities In Choosing A Partner

He mentioned that these qualities are often overlooked and must be carefully considered in choosing a right partner.

  • Religious Values – In choosing a partner, ensure the person aligns with your religious beliefs and values.
  • Communication – Choose a person who is willing to listen and understand you.
  • Respect – Select a partner who respects you and what you stand for.
  • Trust – Find a partner who is honest, sincere, and open to you.
  • Emotional Connection – Ensure there is chemistry and vibe between both of you.
  • Personal Growth – Be sure the person cares about your personal growth and development.
  • Conflict Resolution – Choose a partner who can resolve conflicts effectively and maintain peace.
  • Family Dynamics – Understand the family you come from and check for any differences.
  • Family Acceptance – Be sure you are accepted by the partner’s family to avoid future misunderstandings.

Roles, Responsibilities, and Finances

In finding a right partner for marriage, it is important to discuss roles, responsibilities, and finances in the relationship. 

Is your relationship going to be a 50/50 one in terms of roles and finances, or is it going to be one-sided? 

The choice is yours, but however it may be, it is necessary to have a style that will be able to run the home effectively, leaving no burden on one person.

Past Experiences and New Relationships

Counsellor Adofoli emphasized that past experiences can be a determinant in entering into a new relationship. In doing so;

  • You must first learn from the past experience or relationship.
  • Give yourself some space and time to heal.
  • Open yourself up to a new relationship.
  • Do not take fears from the old relationship into the new one.

Learn from past experiences and allow yourself to move forward with a new partner without fear.

Timing in Finding the Right Partner

Most of the time, the right partners come at the wrong time, especially when you are not ready. 

In a case like this, make it clear to the person that you are not ready, and also tell them when you will be ready so that they can choose to wait or not to wait.

Red Flags Vs. Choosing the Right Partner

In every relationship, you must be aware that there are things you can and cannot tolerate. In identifying those you cannot tolerate, you either talk about them with your partner or end the relationship. 

Some of these red flags can be:

  • Adultery.
  • Abuse, manipulation, or gaslighting.
  • Personal differences.

Counsellor Adofoli said that these red flags can destroy marriages. That is why it is better to look at them at the beginning of the relationship, before marriage.

Bottom Line : It’s also important to check compatibility and shared goals, before marriage. Taking time to find the right partner will help avoid mistakes from the past.

For more interesting lifestyle conversations, tune in to The AM Club with Miriam Mensah and Kojo Daasebre. And as you take these steps, remember that respect and mutual understanding are key to a healthy relationship.

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