Torment From Within – Broken Pen

I don’t know where to start. But I hope no matter how scanty I am able to give you, for fear of not giving away too much, I will get some good advice from here.

Somewhere in December, I made a catastrophic mistake and it has become a snowball of issues from week to week. I have had to write this today because it’s almost 1am and I am in my study room pretending to be working but begging someone to stop harassing me.

My wife’s little sister came to Ghana in December for the usual festive season, Detty December as we know it. She has been living in the States for 6 years now but came to Ghana in December 2018 for our wedding. She was very useful during the wedding and had planed to come in 2020 but Covid protocols and lockdowns didn’t make it work. So we’d all really waited for her to come and agreed to host her in our house which is even timely now because my wife who is finally pregnant after trying for 4 years will need all the help she can get. The type of work my wife’s sister does allows her to work remotely so she planned to leave in July.

As a promise I made to her, I agreed to take her to one of the December music events that was heavily hyped. My wife who was already pregnant and an introvert was never going to join us. On that Friday, we agreed to leave home early so we get good seats and also avoid the usual heavy traffic in December. Well, it was very disappointing to know that the organizers were not done with setup even at 8pm when we got there. In an attempt not to ruin her day, I decided we go to Movenpick to while away time as DJ Mensah was having his event there. It was a good decision as there was a good crowd and the vibe was right.
The only downside was me taking alcohol after a 2 year break, but I think I wanted to make her happy so I took it. She was more experienced with drinks and sisha than I am and was excited. After an hour or so at Movenpick, We left to the main event with the promise to come back right after. Well the show was good apart from the usual breaks. Before the event could end, she was already pushing for us to go back to Movenpick which I agreed to. When we went in there, it had turned into a full party and it was great fun. That is also where my woes began, we started dancing more intimately as she wanted me to pretend as her guy to ward off the many guys who were making moves at her. Through that and with the easy aid of the alcohol, I placed my hands around her waist and she placed her hands on my shoulders during the dance. She made eye contact and I became a bit uncomfortable; I strategically used fatigue to excuse myself and took my seat. She came to sit on my lap instead of her seat, It was getting all crazy as I had an awkward moment with an erection during the dance, I wanted to suppress it but my rod gave me away. Her short dress did not help. I was all over the place with my hormones. She started twisting her waist on my lap whiles still seated. And as a pro, she placed her hands on my laps just where my erection was. Please let no one make it seem I have no morals. I have stayed with my wife for 6 years without cheating. The worst I have done will be to flirt on phone. And I never ever envisaged I will be in such a situation with my sister in-law.

I asked that we leave for home as I had other engagements the following morning and she asked for the last round of drinks. The next thing was to get my credit card again to go buy the additional drinks. She took more time than usual but was thinking it was due to the queue. But I was wrong. She came back and placed a hotel room card in my hand and another glass of cocktail. She sat down and mentioned she didn’t want her sister to see her this drunk and smell the cigar she had, cos she never knew her to be a smoker nor a heavy drinker. So she took a room and briefly apologized for not letting me know earlier. She mentioned it was an impulse action.

Fast forward, as we walked in the lobby, the plan was to take her to her door so I leave, we got into the elevator and once the doors closed, she gave me an intimate hug and thanked me for making her night. Her boobs pressed against me, her dress lifted as she tip-toed to hug me and it didn’t help at all.

I will not go into any further detail but we made love in the hotel room. I shamefully came back into my car. I spent over an hour in the car not moving as the actions all played back. I have had sex with my wife’s sister. A call came from my wife around 3am to mention her sister had sent her a message (my heart missed a beat). The message said she was going to a friend’s end so I was coming home alone and she was checking on me. That is when I realized on my phone that it was my card she used for the room booking.

I drove back in a very pensive mood. Now let me tell you what’s happening, she spent 3 more days in the hotel and came back on Tuesday. All on my card! When I was being pushy for her to come home, she mentioned I should know I don’t own her and she rather owns me. I have known no peace since then. She will behave all good at home but won’t stop using my card for purchases. From clothes to shoes to car rentals and weekend stay in hotels and resorts. She has also upgraded her ticket to business class. She mentioned if I change the PIN or do not fund the account, she will cause mayhem at home and leave to her country as her return ticket is open. I know what she means. My mistake was the following day after the hotel, we exchanged messages and voice notes that was all naughty and spoke about our experiences. I even foolishly said she was better than her sister in bed.

She is holding on these to torment me. Just this dawn, she sent me a message she wants to go visit friends in Kenya. She is just wicked and heartless. This is the account I have saved on to plan our long awaited baby. She is draining it as she still has the card details and the code. My wife is in her final trimester and I dare not make her have a 1% hint of what is going on before we lose what God has blessed us with. I have even discussed with her to name a price but she says the card is her price.

I am not happy, I can’t go to church, I can’t concentrate at work, I have already taken majority of my leave days. My wife has started asking that we buy the list for the delivery and also prepare ourselves from home. All I do is give excuses.

What at all have I done to myself? How do I solve this? How? I hate myself so much, sometimes I harbour the unthinkable thoughts. Please I need help. I feel like I’m in a cage.