My Husband Is “Dead” – Broken Pen
Good evening, please allow your followers to help me solve this conundrum I find myself in.
I am a 33 year old married woman with a 38 year old husband.
My issue is simple, my husband who was diagnosed with diabetes at an early age and has been on treatment for the last 8 years has become basically impotent and cannot have an erection.
Initially we thought it was the stress from losing his work but eventually, we got to know it was a side effect of the diabetics.
The Doctor made us understand the drugs he was taking had caused this and usually there is little that can be done about it. We have been trying other medicines with hopes of getting him to function again but till date, nothing is happening.
I will be frank and admit that I have high libido and appreciate sex both in quantity and quality. The current situation is really having a toll on me and not giving me joy.
This has caused us a lot of issues namely;
1. Petty issues that bring quarrels at home,
2. My husband is so suspicious of me it hurts.
3. I also feel sexually starved.
4. Now, My husband is requesting that I quit my good paying job and manage the shop we have in-front of our house.I know he is doing this because I once told him my boss in the office likes me and support me a lot so it’s purely stemming from insecurity.
Because I know myself , I made a proposal to my husband to let me go get a dildo/ Vibrator so I could satisfy myself and keep this going while we try the available options. Once I said this, my husband went nuts, he said it’s evil and expressed his disappointment in me. I don’t know what to do to my husband, I am not the cause of his predicament yet, I have to live the rest of my life never satisfying a key human need?
I think he is being insensitive and irrational with the whole situation.
He’s been unemployed for the past 2 years after the bank he worked for collapsed. This together with the loss of his potency seems to be having a mental toll on him. He is withdrawn and can spend the whole night in the sitting room. His attitude is getting worse.
I can’t discuss with anyone because it will bruise his ego. After the conversations on the vibrator, his calls for me to stop the work has increased, sometimes he passes comments to suggest that if I don’t he will commit suicide.
Recently, I started to workout at a local gym on our corporate benefits and the gym instructor who helps me out has realised my uneasiness when he touches even my hand, my whole system melts and that has caused me to wonder how long I can hold unto this.
I have gone almost 2 years without any sex, quite unbelievable cos time also goes by quickly. I need to make babies as well and I’m not getting any younger. Now I am being forced to also stop the work which gives me some happiness and also supports the home.
I wanted to discuss this with my pastors but my husband has sworn that if anyone hears of his impotency, he will never forgive me and can’t guarantee his next line of action.
Closing from work and driving home is what a dread most now, sometimes, I park by our junction and cry before I get home. I hate weekends now as I will be home always and can’t attend any functions else, I raise suspicions. My social life is ending, I’m emotionally weak and physically beginning to see wrinkles and all on my face.
I am confused, should I listen and quit my job, should I ignore him and go get the vibrator? (Is it actually a sin to use a vibrator)? I have also considered divorce but I don’t know how society will see me.